First World War.com - Vintage Audio - Would You Rather Be A Colonel With An Eagle On Your Shoulder Or A Private With A Chicken On Your Knee?

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Photograph of an Arthur Fields record Vintage Audio: Would You Rather Be A Colonel With An Eagle On Your Shoulder Or A Private With A Chicken On Your Knee?
Updated - Sunday, 16 February, 2003

Reproduced below are the lyrics to the humorous World War I song Would You Rather Be A Colonel With An Eagle On Your Shoulder Or A Private With A Chicken On Your Knee?

With music by Archie Gottler - who also wrote the music to The Kiss That Made Me Cry and most notably, America, I Love You - the song was published in the closing year of the war, 1918.

Click here to listen to a version of the song performed by Arthur Fields in 1918 (MP3 format 1,032kb)

Would You Rather Be A Colonel With An Eagle On Your Shoulder Or A Private With A Chicken On Your Knee?

First Verse:
Once I heard a father ask his soldier son,
"Why can't you advance like the other boys have done?
You've been a private mighty long,
Won't you tell me what is wrong?"
And then the soldier lad
Said, "Listen to me, Dad":

First Chorus:
"I'd rather be a private than a colonel in the Army,
A private has more fun,
When his day's work is done;
And when he goes on hikes,
In ev'ry town he strikes
Girls discover him
And just smother him
With things he likes.
But girlies act so shy
When colonel passes by,
He holds his head so high with dignity;
So would you rather be a colonel with an eagle on your shoulder
Or a private with a chicken on your knee?"

Second Verse:
Ev'ry night you find some private in the park,
Spooning on a bench where it is nice and dark:
He's just as happy as can be
With his girlie on his knee,
But colonel never dares
To mix in such affairs:

Second Chorus:
"I'd rather be a private than a colonel in the Army,
A colonel out in France
Can never take a chance,
For though his job is great,
He dare not make a date;
All that he can do Is just parley-voo
Then hesitate;
But privates meet the ma,
And then they treat the pa,
And then they 'oo-la-la' with 'wee Marie';
So would you rather be a colonel with an eagle on your shoulder
Or a private with a chicken on your knee?"

A "Dixie" (from the Hindi degci) was an army cooking pot.